KNOCK ME OFF MY FEET! So today for the first time in my life, I have an appointment with the podiatrist. I'll spare you the medical details because they're not interesting and they're usually not pretty. But I say to the podiatrist's assistant, a young woman, "Are you registered to vote?" And she says, "Yes." And I say "Don't forget to vote!" and she says "Oh, we won't forget to vote!" It sounds to me like there's more than one of them and they can't wait to vote! I forget to ask the doctor if he's registered to vote, but I figure anybody who can figure out how to get through podiatry school is probably capable of figuring out how to register to vote, so, after a short surgical procedure, I move on to the checkout desk where I ask the woman there if she's registered to vote. She seems startled by the question, stammers and sputters something about "...that Donald..." and is clearly...
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Miami Adventure
It's Spring of 1970, I'm nineteen years old and hungry and homeless in Miami Beach, running a shoeshine stand making about $5 a day in front of a barbershop near the Fountainbleau Hotel. One day a young black guy comes along and asks me to shine his $100 alligator shoes. He climbs up and sits in the chair and after a couple of minutes he says to me “Haven't you ever shined shoes before?” “No,” I admit to him and he offers to show me how to shine shoes the right way, and we trade places. So I'm sitting there high in the chair, looking out on Collins A venue, while this guy is shining his own $100 alligator shoes which I'm wearing and I see this big old black Cadillac pull up and double park in front of us. I'm watching the scene unfolding - it seemed like it was happening in slow motion - and I'm thinking 'Oh, this is gonna be good.' A big guy smoking a cigar gets out of the driver's seat and looks over at us and says “...