KNOCK ME OFF MY FEET!

    So today for the first time in my life, I have an appointment with the podiatrist. I'll spare you the medical details because they're not interesting and they're usually not pretty. But I say to the podiatrist's assistant, a young woman, "Are you registered to vote?" And she says, "Yes." And I say "Don't forget to vote!" and she says "Oh, we won't forget to vote!" It sounds to me like there's more than one of them and they can't wait to vote!
     I forget to ask the doctor if he's registered to vote, but I figure anybody who can figure out how to get through podiatry school is probably capable of figuring out how to register to vote, so, after a short surgical procedure, I move on to the checkout desk where I ask the woman there if she's registered to vote. She seems startled by the question, stammers and sputters something about "...that Donald..." and is clearly shaken as she settles up my paperwork and tries to regain her equanimity.
     "Don't forget to VOTE," I remind her on my way out the door, down the elevator and out to a waiting taxi. The driver is laughing heartily as I climb in.
     "What's so funny?" I ask him.
     "You're the best-looking guy I've seen today!" he says, to my mild surprise. Of course, I AM wearing my Scottish beret and my Norfolk jacket, so I can't be TOO surprised.
     "Are you registered to vote?" I cut to the chase.
     "Yep. But I still don't like guys kneeling during the national anthem."
     "Hey, don't get political on me, bud," I warn him. "Waddaya have to be a rightwing nut to work for this cab company?"
     "You're right, I'm getting political," he admits.
     "Don't worry about it," I tell him as he pulls up to the house. "Keep the change."
     "And don't forget to VOTE."
     My big toe is killing me.
   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
Ed King S e p t e m b e r   1 1 ,   2 0 1 5    ·  Shared with Public A Peddler's License in Washington, DC By ED KING I arrived in Washington, DC from Boston in the fall of 1972 intending to start a street-peddling operation selling handmade Moroccan sheepskin wallets from my supplier in New York. Street-peddling in New York and Boston the previous two years had been a free-wheeling, anything-goes sort of affair, but I soon found out that Washington was a little different. Attempting to play by the rules, I went to the government office where they issued street peddlers' licenses. I filled out the application I was given and turned it back to the clerk who told me that it would take three or four weeks to process my application. She didn't seem moved by my story that I had just arrived in town and needed to get out on the street right away to start making a living. I looked around the office and there must have been fifty workers sitting at their desk...
Read more
Image
        Scholl's Cafeteria In the summer of 1973, I operated a fruit and vegetable stand at the corner of Connecticut Avenue and K Street in downtown Washington, DC. One day, a well-dressed elderly gentleman came up to the stand and asked if there were any good restaurants in the area that I might recommend. Without hesitation, I told him about Sholl's Cafeteria, which was right up the street; about its great food and low prices and good service and on and on, sounding like a paid ad for the place. When I finally finished, the man reached into his pocket and handed me his card. "Here, have lunch on me." It was Evan Sholl, founder and owner of Sholl's Cafeteria, who walked around downtown Washington in his later years buying lunch for anyone who gave a good review to his restaurant.                                      Evan Scholl, his son, wife, and mother.
Read more
Image
Ed King So, this one guy is looking through the sample copy of 'Alternative Facts' and he looks at the sign and he says, "You sellin' these for twenty-seven cents each?!" And I say, "No, that's twenty-seven DOLLARS." And he gets a shocked look on his face and mumbles something and quickly puts the book back in the bin. I guess he was disappointed because for a second there he thought he was really gonna get the buy of a lifetime!
Read more